truemouse

New or refurbished gearbox? Old linkages or worn bushes? have you checked the oil level and consitency? (If it's black and it ain't diesel, you got problems.)

Really depends on how much of a moron the previous owner was. Coolant can have a slimey texture, especially if it's mixing with a lot of dust. Coolant can also de-polymer, that is with the continuous heating, cooling, expanding, contracting, pressure droppng and rising the different liquids that made it up in the first place can start to seperate and it could just so happen that the heavier more viscous stuff sinks down to the lowest parts of the plumbing.

Crazy notion here . . . when was the last time your buddy checked his shocks? You can get general wear and tear on the wheel assemblies themselves, especially if he's in the habit of thrashing the car around. Spent a year in Germany with my British Built AX Dimension, all that autobahn driving with no speed limits and bizzare tight off/on-ramps really beat the crap outta the shocks, springs and the top of the assembly tower. Ended up taking it to a specialist in Metz - France to get performance setup and brace. (It's illegal to modify the engine and or gearbox in Germany or France, but suspension and the rest of the running gear is fair game. Even so, Germans don't really touch the car at all, and with the exception of body-kits and alloys, ou won't find many Germans that'll alter anything on their autos.)

I asked. They wouldn't touch me. That package was not offered. Perhaps they didn't like the looks of me. I had that package before when I got my AX back in '96.

Will the C4 wheels fit a Picasso?

2005 Picasso Desire 1.6 HDi 29 year old guy, just arrived from the states in January, no No Claims in UK, parked in a driveway in rural Scotland. Churchill £1018 / year Norwich £935 / year (Quoted me unhappy) Direct Line £750 / year Tesco £600

They got the wrong idea. "How much does it cost?" "Oh, about 12 1/2 grand British." "Is that a lot in dollars?" "Double it." "Where will you put it?" "In the car port." "Huh?" It's arriving tomorrow, right off the transporter from Paris. 1.6 HDi 16v Desire Storm Grey. It's official, I'm excited.

Seen it. Was about to come over here thinking 'Hey, I know who'd get a kick outta this' but wouldn't you know it?

What about the Pluriel? (Apart from that awesome looking C-pillar) 2 door coupe . . . no rear doors for offspring to jump out of.

Could have been worse. It could have been made by Vauxhall. Rented a Corsa. (Whoop de do) First thing I did was set the manual mechanical child locks in the door jam according to the diagram and checked them. Of course my son tried to press and pull each control on his door that he could reach. Drove 20 miles and around a sharp urban bend and his door sprung wide open. Seems that after you hit a bump or two on a country road they pop back into the 'unlock' position. Ditto Astra. At least you can do something with the child-locks in the C3.

Try lightening the car up first. Door cards, roof card, carpet (Put down some diamond plate or some such) if you use the rear seat for nothing 'part from throwin' cargo down or foolin' around, get a new bed and rip the back seat out. Anyone know where she can get a roll-cage? While this won't increase your hp it means that you've a few horses not tied up with moving excess weight and can git on with the job of movin' your AX. Shocks, springs etc . . . Lower your centre of grabity and you can power out of turns sooner. Better brakes and you can approach corners more agressively. Again this won't increase hp, however it does mean you can keep your ponies more awake through the corner ready to kick some black-top more readily than an ill prepared car.

I can see where she's coming from, I've owned an AX way back, and I've test-drove the Saxo. The AX was nice and light and very manouverable but lacked a lot of grunt, the Saxo had more power but was a lot heavier and less willing to go where you wanted it to go and do wat youwanted it to do. Both cars are compatible. Why not make something that's light and powerful? That is the essence of the old-skool hot-rods. I'm all in favour of re-engining. last 2cv I had was second hand, the prevous owner had installed an aftermarket galvanised chassis from the super-ami, so I had to find a 1.6 GSA and install it. Minimum amount of modding required. The hardest part was the grind and welding of the inner front fenders and making a box to hide the new GS gearbox in under the otherwise straight bulkhead. Got a local exhaust specialist to pipe the 1st and 4th cylinders and 2nd with 3rd to get that trademark 2cv warble.

In a related story ______________ It has been reported that an employee for Ansett Australia (Airlines), who happened to have the last name of Gay, got on a plane recently using the company's 'Free Flight' offer for staff. However, when Mr Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a fare paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat. Unknown to Mr Gay, another Ansett flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this flight were being re-routed to various other airplanies. A few were put on Mr Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a 'free' ticket was being 'bumped'. Ansett officials, armed with a list of these 'freebee' ticket holders boarded the plane, as is the practise, to remove them in favour of fare paying passengers. Of course, our Mr Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember, so when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?". The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded "Then you have to get off the plane." Mr Gay, overhearing what the agent has said, tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man, I'm Gay!". This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!". Confusion reigned as more and more passengers began yelling that Ansett had no right to remove gays from their flights. It is reported that Ansett have refused to comment on the incident.

Additional airport antics at Glasgow Airport (GLA) Taxiing down the tarmac runway, a Quantas jetliner abruptly stopped and returned to the terminal building. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger (Who happened to be a reporter for a local newspaper) asked the flight attendant what the problem had been. "The pilot was worried by the handling of the aircraft and a noise he heard from an engine," he explained, "It took us a while to find a new pilot."

After every Quantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a 'gripe' sheet which conveys complaints about the aitcrafts performance during the previous flight to the ground crew so they can address the problems accordingly. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The top half has 'P:' for Problem - The pilots complaints. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The bottom half has 'S:' for Solution - The action taken by ground crews. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These are real exerpts from the ground crew at GLA (Glasgow Airport) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Auto-land not intalled on this aircraft --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Something loose in cockpit. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Something tightened in cockpit. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Dead bugs on windsheild. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Live bugs on back-order. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Evidence removed. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: That's what they're there for. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Suspected crack on windsheild. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Suspect you're right. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Aircraft handles funny. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Target radar hums. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Mouse in cockpit. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S: Cat installed. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- N.B. Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. --------------------

Of course, you could just get a Forte instead. (If you're really lucky, you could find a Piste Rouge and renovate it with GTi and Forte components. AX 4wd)

Find Saxo VTs/r with rear-end damage. Remove complete front clip from AX. Remove Saxo from complete front clip. Switch. Grind out inner wings of AX and put remainder body-panels back on. (Easier to think of it all as replacing the body of a Saxo than the engine of an AX.)

So I've rented a Picasso over the weekend. Holy crapoli Batman! Does that thing move or what? Been rallying it around the backroads of Scotland dishing out rainsters to Rav4 and Golf GTi drivers who had to blast through rural towns at 50 mph just to catch up to me (While I was religiously sticking to 30mph through, cause I may be mad, but I ain't stoopid.) and I still left them on the b-roads*. Takes corners in exactly the same way that a large brick-like soccer mom-mobile can't. Back end skipping, rear-end drift with just footbrake and gas pedals, trimming the rear rear-axl with the handbrake on the uphills . . . I LOVE this car. *BTW, the ESP traction control thingy can't handle freshly laid cow-poop (to the Fiat driver - if he's reading this - I passed on the way over from Largs, sorry man, I didn't know the mini-van could go in that direction, hope you didn't get too much of a fright.)

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued... "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.....what??? || Answer is way down there. \/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis?

A man went to an urologist and told him that he was having a problem and that he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the doctor told the man that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him. However, he knew of and experimental treatment that might work, if he were willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's trunk in the man's penis. The man thought about it for a while. The thought of going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or adverse effect on the elephant, the man decided to go for it. A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to use his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure, he unzipped his fly, and immediately his penis sprang from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to his pants. His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her face she said, "That was incredible. Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering, he replied, "I think I can, but I'm not sure if I can fit another roll up my ass."

. . . are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

http://www.ubercoolies.com/forum/uploads/post-7-1098321886.jpg http://www.ubercoolies.com/forum/uploads/post-7-1098321982.jpg

http://a1259.g.akamai.net/f/1259/5586/1d/images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10120000/10120870.jpg Well? What the hell were you expecting?

So why didn't they leave it with the original designated letters? DN Makes you wonder though, how they got 'AX', 'BX', 'CX', 'XM' and 'ZX'